There are moments everyday where I look at Ella Grace and think, "wow, that's my daugter." Sometimes I feel like her mommy, other times I say it out loud because it still doesn't fell like part of who I am. Then there are the moments, that I feel it, and anyone around would easily say, "she's a mom."
I'm not talking about when I'm nursing or something as equally obviously mommy. But moments where I'm caught off guard and surprise myself with the mommy finesse I have acquired some where during my 9 months of pregnancy and 4 months of mommy hood.
Today, I had a mommy moment of epic proportions. In the morning we wake up around 7am. Ella Grace nurses and then we doze and/or play in bed until around 8:30 or 9:00. When we come down Ella Grace plays either in her swing or on her floor mat while I get my own food, check my email, go to the bathroom. Whatever it is that I need 15 minutes to do. Today, it was the swing, and Ella Grace used her 15 minutes of alone time very constructively. Creating a huge poopy mess. I smelled it before I saw it. And I unfortunately felt it before I saw it as well. Up her back, down her legs, all over the swing. Sweet, ripe, smelly, baby poo. I unbuckled her and warmed at the wonderful smile she gave me, little did I know that behind that smile was a huge "ha ha mommy, you're gonna say eww in a minute." As I picked her up from the swing I felt it, slippery moisture on her back. I didn't even need to look to know what it was, but i turned her to survey the damage none the less. Wow! Her entire back up to between her shoulder blades was a giant mess of poo.
With my mommy hat firmly in place, I set to the task of cleaning her up. I put her on her belly in the pnp (pack-n-play) and worked at getting her onesie off without getting baby poop all over the place. I cleaned her back before I even took off the diaper and had just rolled her over to start the task of removing the diaper when there was knock on the door. UPS. Ugh. So, knowing that I had the messy parts cleaned up I ran to the door. I'm sure I looked frazzled when I opened the door. I hadn't showered yet, and I realized as I stood there that I still had wipes in my hand. He asked me to sign and I looked down at my hands, looked back at him, and said "give me a minute I need to go wash my hands." There was no way I was going to take his pen when I knew good and well there was at least a little poo on me. He looked at the wipes in my hand and said not to worry about it and have a good day.
As I walked back to Ella, I smiled. I'm a mommy.