The First Four Months In Photographs

Friday Follow!

I have not participated in Friday Follow the past two weeks during my computer vaca, and I've missed reading new blogs and meeting new bloggers. I'm excited for today! Please read through my blog and comment. I LOVE comments. Who doesn't love comments?

Mommy Moments

There are moments everyday where I look at Ella Grace and think, "wow, that's my daugter." Sometimes I feel like her mommy, other times I say it out loud because it still doesn't fell like part of who I am. Then there are the moments, that I feel it, and anyone around would easily say, "she's a mom."

I'm not talking about when I'm nursing or something as equally obviously mommy. But moments where I'm caught off guard and surprise myself with the mommy finesse I have acquired some where during my 9 months of pregnancy and 4 months of mommy hood.

Today, I had a mommy moment of epic proportions. In the morning we wake up around 7am. Ella Grace nurses and then we doze and/or play in bed until around 8:30 or 9:00. When we come down Ella Grace plays either in her swing or on her floor mat while I get my own food, check my email, go to the bathroom. Whatever it is that I need 15 minutes to do. Today, it was the swing, and Ella Grace used her 15 minutes of alone time very constructively. Creating a huge poopy mess. I smelled it before I saw it. And I unfortunately felt it before I saw it as well. Up her back, down her legs, all over the swing. Sweet, ripe, smelly, baby poo. I unbuckled her and warmed at the wonderful smile she gave me, little did I know that behind that smile was a huge "ha ha mommy, you're gonna say eww in a minute." As I picked her up from the swing I felt it, slippery moisture on her back. I didn't even need to look to know what it was, but i turned her to survey the damage none the less. Wow! Her entire back up to between  her shoulder blades was a giant mess of poo.

With my mommy hat firmly in place, I set to the task of cleaning her up. I put her on her belly in the pnp (pack-n-play) and worked at getting her onesie off without getting baby poop all over the place. I cleaned her back before I even took off the diaper and had just rolled her over to start the task of removing the diaper when there was  knock on the door. UPS. Ugh. So, knowing that I had the messy parts cleaned up I ran to the door. I'm sure I looked frazzled when I opened the door. I hadn't showered yet, and I realized as I stood there that I still had  wipes in my hand. He asked me to sign and I looked down at my hands, looked back at him, and said "give me a minute I need to go wash my hands." There was no way I was going to take his pen when I knew good and well there was at least a little poo on me. He looked at the wipes in my hand and said not to worry about it and have a good day.

As I walked back to Ella, I smiled. I'm a mommy.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

I'm starting a new thing- The Simple Woman's Daybook. I will be doing this entry every tuesday and possibly more often. My hope is to focus on the simple in life, and find joy in that simplicity.

FOR TODAY
Outside my window...the day is overcast, but I'm ok with that.
I am thinking...of love shared. Can you give to much away?
I am thankful for...girlfriends to talk to late at night and first thing in the morning.
From the kitchen...yogurt cereal for breakfast. Takes me back to my childhood.
I am wearing...my favorite nightgown, it finally fits again.
I am creating...order in my home and a new dress for Ella Grace.
I am going...to get things done today.
I am reading...nothing yet, but I endeavor to pick a book by days  end.
I am hoping...to find an extra magic hour in the day today.
I am hearing...praise music on pandora.com.
Around the house...it's a mess!
One of my favorite things...smile from Ella Grace when she sees me for the first time in the morning.
A few plans for the rest of the week: lunch in the park with Patty'o, dinner with friends, planing more marketing.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Ella Grace Recap

 Just some pics to show my little girl over the past two weeks...

Play time with mommy in the morning

Her "beary" best friends

She found her toes!

Mommy's lavender princess

  

The Thinker

2 weeks absence

Ok- this was not an intentional blogging vaca, but it was needed. I needed to take some time to step away from my computer and survey the world at large. It's been a busy two weeks of being a mommy, wife, friend, and just me.

During these two weeks I have come to realize that although others might hurt me, I can't stop putting myself out there. I love deeply. There is no way around that except to not love, and for me, that is not an option. I give my love freely, hoping for love in return. Although it might hurt when this love is rejected, it is the very core of who I am. I feel deeply for others and those who know me best can attest to this.

I have realized that although I am "ok" with who I am physically, for me to be mentally and emotionally happy, I need to improve on my physical state. I also need to make time for other things that are important to me, reading a good book, taking photographs (of things other than my beautiful baby), laughing with friends, and making where I live my home.

We will be moving at the end of July. I'm more than a little anxious about this. I want to move somewhere that we plan to be for at least 2 years. Sean wan't to buy, but I'm just not ready for that yet. The thought of packing and getting ready to move makes me panic. I feel like we just got settled here. Scratch that, I feel like we still aren't quite settled here. But we need more space for Ella Grace to learn to crawl, and then walk. We need a place that we can really be comfortable in, and hopefully, a place closer to Sean's work.

I went to a church service in the park with Ella Grace on Sunday. It made me think of a line from one of my favorite movies of all time, Anne of Green Gables.

"Why must people kneel down to pray?" If I really wanted to pray I'll tell you what I'd do. I'd go out into a great big field all alone or into the deep, deep, woods, and I'd look up into the sky--up--up--up--into that lovely blue sky that looks as if there was no end to its blueness. And then I'd just feel a prayer."


Standing out in the park, singing prays to God, hold my miracle baby in my arms, I felt a prayer. A prayer for my family, for the love that will survive when the world tries to beat it down. They had a moment at the end where you could go forward for prayer. I am not a member of this church so I felt a little odd, but I went. When I told my name to the woman who was going to pray with me, I heard "Calloway? Calloway Williams?" and looked up to see and old friend. A friend from another church, from my teen years. A friend who took me to his prom. I began to cry. Seeing someone who knew the core of me at that moment, someone who could see my vulnerability and momentary lapse in strength, did me in. He prayed. He prayed for strength, for sleep, for peace, he spoke into my life. Through him God told me he was proud of me and that my life was not destined to repeat the errors of those I love. That I was not responsible for the problems in the lives of those I love. (He was more specific but I don't want to expose family issues in my blog at this time.) He reminded me to "give it to God, my pain, my fears, my joys. To allow God to carry my load, that he wants to carry it for me. It was a pretty awesome moment for me.

Today I am packing for Sean. He is leaving for a 4 day, 3 night business trip. This is the first time he will be traveling since Ella Grace was born and we are both a little anxious about this. It will all be ok, but we will miss each other and he will miss Ella Grace terribly. This will be the longest that I have been "alone" with Ella Grace. On my road trip my daddy was there. I do have friends coming over for dinner and hope to have them hold Ella Grace long enough for me to take a shower, unload the dishwasher, whatever , but that is not the same as having my husband come  home at the end of the day.

I will end this now. I could keep going, but I have to get to that packing. I've missed blogging and I'm happy to be back! I hope you continue to read!

Momma got her stitch on...

I did it! I successfully completed my first sewing project. I don't know why I thought a taggie blanket would be so super easy to make but it was what I decided to make. So after scouring the interwebz for tips on taggies, I got down to work! What do you think??

It's not perfect, but I'm pretty proud of myself. Can you guess what all the pregnant mommies I know are going to be receiving as gifts for their little ones??

My In-Laws luv me...they really do!

I decided this needed it's own post so I didn't mention it in Mother's Day post below.
My in-laws got me a sewing machine for Mother's Day. I have been talking all about wanting to sew and I was totally surprised and thrilled when I opened my gift.

Of Boogers & Mother's Day

Friday night Ella Grace could only be consoled if she was being held upright. All night long. She had a stuffy nose. Nursing was difficult because she couldn't really breath. So he was on and off and didn't nurse well in general all day. When she would fall asleep, if we put her down, she woke up within 5-10 minutes crying because she couldn't breath and then would realize "oh yeah, I'm still hungry" and the cycle would begin once more. At 6am Sean went to the store to get a nasal aspirator because we couldn't find ours and while there he got nasal saline to try and flush some of the goop out. When he got back he came and took her downstairs and let me sleep. He did all the dirty work of drops and sucking out boogies. Then he came back up and sat in the bathroom with her with a hot shower running to try and break up some more of the goop. It seemed to help, and she was a good, all be it tired, baby most of the day. Then around 5:30/6:00pm things went down  hill very fast. She started having a hard time breathing through her nose again, and would cry and pull off when nursing since she could get any air. Neither Sean or I wanted a repeat of Friday night so we packed her up and headed to the Children's Heathcare Urgent Care place.

They checked her vitals and she had good  O2 levels and no fever so we had to wait. And wait. When we finally got in to see the doctor she checked Ella Grace's eyes, ears, nose, and throat and then listened to her breathing. She said "it's just a cold. use a humidifier and keep with the saline drops and aspirator. This could take 5-7 days to clear." We left feeling bad for our baby and sad for the sleep we knew we would be missing. Orders in hand to call our doctor Monday morning and see if they wanted to see us, we went home. Climbing into bed just after midnight, already half asleep, Sean says "Happy Mother's Day."

Sunday Ella was still not 100% so we just chilled at home until we went to a late brunch around 2 with my mom, brother, cousin Justin, and his wife Renee. The food was delish and I got to eat the most delicious French Toast I've had ever, and some very yummy lasagna. Yeah, I know, sounds weird. The restaurant was a cafe/pizzeria with a breakfast brunch buffet. I always have a hard time deciding if I want breakfast or lunch/dinner when I dine at a place that offers both. So this was wonderful in my opinion.

Sean got me two wonderful cards, one from him and one from Ella Grace. Both made me cry good tears. He also got me a really neat book that I will write "in my own words" as the title says, about my life and all that has led me to this first Mother's Day. I think I'm going to also be using it for blog inspiration, so stay tuned!

Sunday night Ella Grace and I slept downstairs so Sean could be well rested for work today. Ella Grace in her swing and me on the couch, it worked out well. I either slept great or I was just too tired to notice if I was uncomfortable.

And that is all folks. All of Boogers and Mother's Day.

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Friday?? Really??

I can't believe it's Friday. I don't think I've gone this long between posts in a while. It's not that I've done all that much this week. No more than usual. I've just been feeling extra slow and tired. I have been working all week to get stuff together for a yard-sale tomorrow that I'm still not ready for. I babysat Monday and Thursday. Tuesday I honestly can't remember what I did. I think I worked around the apartment maybe? Wednesday we went to a Cinco de Mayo dinner at the house of close friends. Ella Grace and I ended up staying the night cause mommy had a her first post pregnancy drink and had to wait to nurse and then it was too late to drive home. And that brings us to today. Today I was out of bed at 8am. That's an hour earlier than my usual out of bed time. And why did I get out of bed early this morning? Well, you see, Ella Grace and mommy went to bed at 11:00pm and only woke up one time (at 4:30am) before 8am!!! Today will be spent getting the final items for the yard-sale ready and schlepping all of the stuff to my friend Stacy's house.So yeah...that's been our busy but not busy week.
Oh, I remember Tuesday!! Tuesday I worked around the apartment and then my Grand-Jo came over and watched Ella Grace so I could go to the bank and Burlington. The reason I needed to go to Burlington was to get more linky rings for Ella. She has started reaching for things and I wanted to extend the links on her floor mat thingy.
Here are some pics from the week...
    

  

3 Months of Heaven on Earth

Ella Grace is 3 months old. Ella Grace is 3 months old. Ella Grace is 3 months old. I keep repeating that over and over as I look at my sleeping little baby. I can't believe three months have gone by. I have been a mommy for three months. Sean has been a daddy for three months. We have been parents for three months. We have been the sole providers and protectors of a little life for three months and not only is she ok, she is thriving!

Her three month stats are:

Weight: 13.15 pounds 

(We nursed before we left so we might as well call it 14+.)

Length/Height: 24 3/4 inches 

Head Circumference: 40 1/2 cm

I am loving my life as a mommy. I am exhausted and still looking forward to one day being able to sleep for more than 5 hours at a time (if I'm lucky.) I don't like cleaning poop out of clothing after diaper blowouts, but I've managed to clean up my poop covered daughter in public places with relative ease. We've made it through our first round of shots with no permanent damage even if we both shed tears. I have started back to work, just babysitting a couple of times a week and a few family and children's sittings as well as booking a couple of weddings for the summer. AND... I took my daughter on a 5 day road trip covering 5 states , nearly 24 hours in the car and a wedding. 

I'm pretty proud of myself!

Here are some pics of my stinkerbell!

Momma Got Savvy...

If you have seen pics of my on here of fb or have fallen in love and been peeping in my apartment windows you might have noticed that my hair pretty much has two doo's. Slick pony and messy pony. Well, I have decided that in an effort to not make like my husband look like a perv and to not look like a teenage mommy, that needs to change. So a new haircut was in order.

But wait, haircuts cost money. Good haircuts cost even more money. I have no money. At least not for stuff like haircuts. All money right now is being directed to bills, Ella Grace, and more bills. So I would just have to wait. Then came my scathingly brilliant idea! I could barter for a haircut! I've know the girl who cuts my hair since I was in middle school and she was just out of high-school and still learning how to cut hair. She knows that I am a photographer. I've sent bridal clients her way for their wedding day doo's. So I did a quick calculation in my head and decided to go on over and see if she would be interested in bartering a couple of haircuts for a family photo shoot. Sure enough! Momma's got a new doo!

Aside from wanting to show off my new hair, I also wanted to remind everyone that in the current economic climate, thing can get tight. But think about what you have to offer in exchange for what you need/want and don't be afraid to make an offer. The worse that can happen is they say no.